


skinnydipping @ 2am (but not really)

by seijuro666



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-23
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-31 19:16:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3989602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seijuro666/pseuds/seijuro666
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>gom go swimming at 2am<br/>*humor ensues*</p>
            </blockquote>





	skinnydipping @ 2am (but not really)

**Author's Note:**

> i was watching the cabin in the woods and i was INSPIRED WOW!! not too much horror if you dont count aomine taking a peek at midorima's 10 ft schlong  
> enjoy~

                “Oi Kise! Pass the popcorn,” Aomine grumbles, smacking away five hands before grabbing the popcorn bin for himself.

                “No Fair, Aominecchi! You hogged all the hotdogs too,” Kise whines back, pouting.

                “Shut up Kise-kun,” Kuroko retorts, before silently grabbing the popcorn bin from Aomine’s hands into the corner where him and Akashi are huddled. Kise makes an interesting noise before deciding it’s a futile effort and turning back to the TV.

                It was Kise’s idea to reunite at his summer house at Lake Motosu. At first, everyone declined because it was their final year in high school and finals week was coming up and so was choosing colleges, but in the end they had decided they deserved a break and so they cleared a week off from their calendars to enjoy themselves.

                There’s a loud noise from the TV where the main protagonist has just heard something outside of her room and with Aomine’s not-so-silent mantra of “ _don’t open the door. Don’t open the door”,_ Kuroko instinctively huddles even more closely into Akashi’s side. He could very well just be sitting on his lap. Aomine interrupts his tribal chanting to hiss, “ _Get a room,”_ to which Akashi smiles cheekily and says, “If you insist.” Aomine shuts up after that.

                Not surprisingly, there’s a man wielding a chainsaw outside of her room, instantaneously slicing the poor girl into 3, maybe 4 separate pieces. Kise is screaming throughout the entire scene, Midorima has his hands clenched around a hello kitty doll (his lucky item for the day, supposedly), Murasakibara looks like he’s going to throw up, and Aomine is going to have to find a good excuse to defend himself from the terribly unmanly screech he just gave out. Kuroko and Akashi are the only one’s not showing emotion, in fact Akashi has a strange look on his face-he looks amused, no- _delighted._ Kuroko, on the other hand, is emotionless as usual but he has a strangely amused look on his face as well. Aomine scooches over a couple of inches from the couple.

                By the time the ending credits are rolling, all five of them are yawning and stretching out their arms and legs while making weird and disturbing noises.

                “What time is it?” Kuroko asks, stretching out his legs while making a noise that’s the mix between a moan and sigh.

                “Almost 2,” Murasakibara answers, already splayed out on the couch. They’re all quiet for a moment, just enjoying the company before Kise interrupts them.

                “Let’s go swimming!,” He says excitedly, his eyes _literally_ sparkling. Midorima makes a disgusted face at him.

                “It’s 2 am,” he points out.

                “So? The least that can happen to us is a bunch of leeches,” Kise shrugs and the rest of them offer a sound of approval.

                Midorima fidgets, his hand going up to push his glasses further up his nose. “There are predators in the dark,” He says, letting that loaded sentence get through their head before Aomine lets out a snort.

                “Midorima you fucking pissbaby!,” He howls, clutching his stomach in laughter. Kise is laughing like a lunatic and even Kuroko is looking away to snort.

                Midorima guffaws. “I’m not scared! And to think I was worried on your behalf. You know what, in the light of such disgrace, I’m going to excuse myself while you all can go get kidnapped by a man with a chainsaw.” Kuroko almost feels bad for letting the ‘chainsaw’ part slip and they’re all laughing again.

                Midorima turns red, and it’s a surprising contrast against his foresty hair. He starts to stomp away to his room until Murasakibara grabs ahold of him.

                “Not so fast, Mido-chin~,” he says, tossing him over his shoulder. And that’s how they’re all walking through the hiking trail at 2am, to go skinny dipping, _quite literally_ in the middle of nowhere.

                “Look! It’s right there!,” Kise says cheerfully, pointing at a dock that leads to a large lake, the tall trees reflected over the glassy surface of the body of water. Kise is the first to run, followed by Aomine.

                “Here I Gooooo!,” Kise shouts, before canon-balling into the lake, remerging wet and happy. Aomine dunks himself into the water, laughing and howling.

                “C’mon, get in here! The water’s great!,” He shouts, teasing Kise by splashing water onto his face. Kise screeches and tries to swim away from Aomine.

                “Then here I come~,” Murasakibara says lazily, slipping a foot into the water, and then jumping in. Kise’s eyes go wide. “W-wait, Murasakibaracchi, n-not ye-!,” he tries but Murasakibara’s giant form falls into the water, submerging both Aomine and Kise under.

                All three of them come up, an uncomfortably amount of time later, gasping for air. Murasakibara lazily swims circles around Aomine and Kise, occasionally spouting water at him.

                Akashi and Kuroko watch from the dock, smiling and laughing together. Akashi has his arm around Kuroko’s waist, his chin on Kuroko’s shoulder. They look like they’re chatting about something intimate but if you get closer-

                “My money’s on Daiki,”

                “No way, I think Murasakibara-kun would drown first,”

                “That’s only because you have a bias against Daiki,”

                “Don’t test me, Akashi-kun,”

                Aomine decides to break up the love-birds by splashing water onto them. He’s rewarded by an uncharacteristic screech from Kuroko and a grunt from Akashi. “Get in the water, idiots!,”

                Akashi smirks but then his smile falls and Kuroko looks at him, worried.

                “What’s wrong?” he asks, getting closer to Akashi. Akashi looks into the water, his eyes squinting then widening as he points a finger into the lake.

                “What’s wrong, Akashicchi?” Kise says, looking around.

                “There’s something in the water,” He says, his face stricken. Kuroko feels his blood go cold as Akashi’s arms tighten around him.

                Kise gasps and Aomine’s already swimming to the dock.

                “Look!,” the red head shouts, “ It’s right there! It’s…. my beautiful boyfriend.” Kuroko takes a second to let the sentence sink in before two strong arms are flinging him into the lake. He lands in the clear water, screeching. When he reemerges, he’s shaking from the sudden coldness and gasping. “Seijuro!” he shouts in between the chattering of his teeth, “I’m going to kill you!”

                Aimlessly, Kuroko swims along, until he grabs onto something and tries to pull himself onto the dock.

                “Wait!” a voice says, and he’s suddenly pulled someone into the water with him. When the head comes up onto the water, it’s revealed to be Midorima. Akashi is laughing from the dock, curled up in half, slamming his fists onto the wooden platform.

                “Damn you Kuroko!,” Midorima yells and swims after him. Kuroko takes his chance and swims away from the green haired teen to hide behind Aomine.

                “Oh save me, Aomine-kun!” he says dramatically, purposely letting his fingers trace over Aomine’s wet and defined chest. Aomine looks at Kuroko’s pale hands on his chest and then at his half-lidded eyes and swallows hard.

                “Oi!,” Akashi shouts and jumps into the lake. He swims over to Kuroko in less time it took for Aomine to take back his actions. Akashi snatches Kuroko away from Aomine and _snarls_ at him. Yeah, Akashi Seijuro, real life baby, _snarls_ at him.

                Akashi swims him and Kuroko away to a secluded area near the dock where Kuroko is probably suffering from the abuse of Akashi Seijuro’s lips and tongue. Shrugging, Aomine amuses himself by slipping down Midorima’s trunks underneath the water but jokes on him because he inhales a mouthful of water when he gets a look at Midorima’s schlong. Kise’s crying crocodile tears and suffering a major nosebleed, trying to watch Akashi and Kuroko play tongue hockey (honestly, Kuroko’s back is going to need surgery the way Akashi has him bent like that) and Murasakibara may have fallen asleep swimming again, but who really knows.

                All is well.

_**fin.** _


End file.
